


alone (i can still see your face)

by bittersnake



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (yes), F/M, Post-TLJ, Send help?, but also THEY ARE SO SO SOFT???, did the author use evanescence lyrics YET AGAIN....maybe, rian ruined meee, the author is simultaneously appalled and enamored by the Rise of Soft (TM) Reylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-18 08:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13678308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersnake/pseuds/bittersnake
Summary: Words cut deeper than swords





	alone (i can still see your face)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crunchy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crunchy/gifts).



There’s a rare bit of silence on the _Falcon_. 

The remaining scraps of the resistance are currently scattered across the galaxy. Commander Dameron is actively recruiting on Felucia for the Rebellion. Lieutenant Connix, Rose, and Finn— no, Private Finn have headed back to Canto Bight to mingle amongst the corrupt elite to replenish their [spy] network. And Leia, accompanied, by Threepio is on her way to Naboo to recuperate and to plan the future of the Rebellion. Leia extended an invitation to Rey to join her on Naboo, to lose herself in the lush _greenness_ of her birth mother’s estate on Varykino. 

It was tempting to the woman born of barren arid junkyard.

Rey surprised even herself when she told Leia that wished to remain on the _Falcon_ with Chewbacca. 

The silence is almost stifling now after being surrounded by the constant hum of various humanoids and droid for the past few months It’s odd in a way. After spending a lifetime— _waiting wanting wishing for someone to come back as the X'us'R'iia rages outside her scavenged habitat--_ with only her own self for company, it’s odd to _miss_ people. People that will return as opposed to merely pass through the loneliness of her life.

The cargo hold is an aftermath of chaos. 

Leftover makeshift bedding interspersed with various incomplete projects— _”they’re improvements, Rey”_ — that she promised Rose not to bother while she was gone, and various Porg nests. Most of them were entrusted into Leia’s care but a few stray ones stayed behind, nestling into the heart of the ship, refusing to leave even with cajoling. Chewie didn’t seem to mind terribly adding spare bits of his fur to their nests..

Rey crouches on the floor, coaxing her limbs into a lotus pose. While she’s had ample sparring partners while the Resist— the _Rebellion_ bunked in the _Falcon_ , there wasn’t much of an opportunity to meditate. But now, with the Rebellion scattered and Chewie guiding the ship through hyperspace, there’s finally time to breathe for a bit. To finally relax her shoulders and slough off Rey, “Savior of the Rebellion”— _i’m no one. I know nothing, her heart screams_ — and be Rey, the no one who has little idea of what she’s doings, stumbling through ancient (and sometimes quite dull; she’s read engineering manuals more enthralling and concisely written) Jedi texts desperately seeking some insight.

She reaches out with the Force. She can feel the echoes of the recent former occupants of this space. She reaches out more, slowly closing off her other senses to be pulled deeper into the Force. She can feel the echoes of the past owners of the _Falcon_ ; Plutt, his beady calculating eyes searching for a way to make a profit; the Irving brothers; Ducain. And then it’s _Han_ again, younger this time, standing with someone else, and then it’s gone just like sand falling through the bones of dead ships on Jakku.

Rey breathes in again. Trying to center herself within the _here_ and _now_. She’s had enough of ghosts for a lifetime.

In.

Out.

In, comes not the filtered stale air of the _Falcon_ but scented sweet smoke. 

Her eyes open in shock as she pounds her chest frantically searching for the source.

She’s still on the _Falcon_.

Almost.

Not quite.

Instead of the jagged metal lines of the cargo hold, there’s a sort of fuzziness on the edges of her sight. The flooring beneath her is the same. Cold, slowly leeching the warmth from her thighs. She can still hear the heart of the _Falcon_ , a steady low hum churning through hyperspace. There’s the soft chirp of Porgs echoing off the walls behind her. But it’s quieter. Muffled by the sensation of blood rushing through her ears. It’s like all her senses have softened. 

Gentled almost.

Completely at odds with the man kneeling before her.

 _Ben_ , her foolish heart cries. Bruised and broken, still nestling a hurt that feels raw and real and _fresh_.

Her lips say nothing.

Rey stares at the scene in front of her.

There’s smoke. 

Not from an open fire but from small cup-like objects with smoke weaving up along the thin sticks protruding from them. The room behind him is somewhat hard to makeout, but what Rey can see is underwhelming. 

She turns her focus to him.

He’s still kneeling but is relaxed. She quickly scans his form, noting that while he’s thankfully— or unfortunately, Rey quickly buries that traitorous thought down— clothed but in a somewhat more casual manner than she’s seen previously. Ben—Kylo’s hair is damp; small droplets of moisture slowly meander down the length of his neck. Perhaps he just finished bathing, she thinks as she notices the black— it seems he has refrained from adopting the garish gold of his predecessor— open robe clinging to his chest. 

For someone set on conquering the entire galaxy, he looks irritatingly well, she thinks.

“I don’t want the whole galaxy,” he says softly.

She didn’t think she had said that out loud.

“You didn’t,” he replies.

“Didn’t anyone tell you reading minds is _rude_ ,” she bites out.

He merely lifts a brow in response.

The legacy of Skywalker lingers between them.

Why did the Force connect them? Why now of all times? Everyone is gone, scattered amongst the stars. She’s all—

“—you’re lonesome,” he finishes softly. Of course, the Force picks now of all the times to remind her of the tenuous bond that connects them across the stars. 

“I’m used to it.”

“That doesn’t mean it can’t hurt.”

“Says the person who isolated himself from everyone else.”

“Yes, because telling everyone you hear voices in your head is an excellent way to let people in,” he says bitterly, eyes flashing. “Instead, they ship you away to meditate on the universe while others stare at awe at the bloodline of Skywalker.”

“At least you weren’t thrown away for drinking money,” she whispers. 

Ben— as much as she wishes to see him Kylo Ren, she’s seen too much of him to call him anything but Ben to herself— takes her hand at this statement. It’s warm...and bare. He rubs his thumb across her calloused palm. A gesture of comfort coming from darkness.

“I’m sorry.”

“You were right.”

“It was… cruel of me. Unkind.”

The words from him are slow and rough. A man unused to apologies, but she senses the intent behind the words. An attempt to heal the wounds they caused.

Silence.

She had forgotten how everything seems to fade away when they’re connected like this. He mentioned once that he could only see her. She’s afraid she can only see him. Darkness threaded with a broken core of light. She still feels his hand in hers. Large. Warm. 

He finally breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry.”

“Did you mean it though,” she asks. She locks her gaze with his. “All of it?”

“I--”

 _Foolish child_ , echoes in her ears. 

“Never mind, it doesn’t matter,” she says, starting to extract her hand from his grasp. Instead of letting go, he instead pulls her back in. 

His lips are soft and firm against her mouth. She doesn’t know quite what to do but she feels...no she _knows_ that Ben’s just as lost as she in this.

And then everything is gone. 

She’s alone in the cargo bay again.

Smoke lingers in the air. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey NaniKoreFeller! I hope you enjoy your gift! I went with "a soft moment where they talk" as the prompt, hopefully it fits!


End file.
